mrbrown on the world peace bandwagon
Move over, Nobel Peace Prize, China has her own too. Named the Confucius Peace Prize, it apparently was in response to the Nobel Committee giving the Nobel to imprisoned Chinese dissident, Liu Xiaobo.
Confucius was a famous Chinese thinker and social philosopher. You may know him from that movie where he was played by Yun-Fat Chow. You may have also heard a few jokes based on his name like: "Confucius he says, Man who walk with knife in pants should not fall down."
Peace prizes with a purpose?
The Confucius Peace Prize committee said that their award was to "interpret the viewpoints of peace of (the) Chinese (people)".
I suppose when you are as big a country as China, you can give any award you like and your domestic audience will be enough to sustain it. Maybe hold the ceremony in the Bird's Nest stadium and televise it on Chinese television, you can say the ceremony was watched by "more than a billion people."
The first recipient of the Confucius Peace Prize or CPP -- I am Singaporean and acronyms are our thing -- was Taiwanese politician, Lien Chan. He was very surprised to be selected.
No, I do not mean the kind of surprise that Academy Award winners feign when they get up on stage to make their thank you speech and read their surprise from their script. Nope, Mr Lien Chan was genuinely surprised. As in, he had never heard of this prize before and no one had even officially told him he had won.
But this is a new award and I suppose we need to cut the Chinese organizers some slack. I mean, the Nobel guys must have had some early teething problems with recognition, I am sure.
"Nobel Peace What? From Oslo? Where on earth is Oslo? Is it in China?"
If I were Mr Lien Chan, I'd just say thank you and take the US$15,000 (S$19,700) prize money from Mr Confucius, or China, or whoever is paying for this.
I can see potential for this prize in recognizing talent that the rest of the world may not know of.
Screw it, let's invent our own prizes
My first thought was: "Hey, Kim Jong-Il deserves to get the Economics Prize!"
He still has a country despite exporting next to nothing and having economic sanctions thrown at him all the time. He must be doing something right. The man is obviously an economics genius.
In fact, I say China should also give the Confucius Physics Prize to Kim as well. He has shown that lobbing artillery shells at his neighbor does not result in an equal and opposite reaction.
And make it a three-fer and give Kim the Confucius Literature Prize too, for all the fiction he has been feeding his people.
And those generals over at Myanmar (or Burma), they should get a Humanitarian award. They did hold an election after all. Yes, the election was suspected to be rigged and was called a sham but surely the junta deserves some kind of prize for even thinking of the words "democratic elections" and using it in a sentence.
Branding the Confucius Peace Prize
Frankly, I think China needs to give the Confucius Peace Prize a little spin, some kind of gimmick that will make it stand out in the sea of Peace Prizes:
"The Confucius Peace Prize: We have a nicer font that that Other One!"
"Massive discounts at major department stores when you show your Confucius Peace Prize!"
"Confucius Peace Prize: pay no cover charge at all fine Chinese discos and clubs!"
Perhaps they can make it really big: "The world's only Peace Prize visible from space!"
So far, China has convinced 18 countries to boycott the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony, countries like Pakistan, Venezuela and Cuba as well as Saudi Arabia and Iran. I think these countries must be gunning for the Confucius BFF Prize.
It seems the Nobel Peace Prize committee is not a stranger to making countries mad at their choices. Maybe I should start a prize of my own. I hereby give the Nobel folks the very first "mrbrown Peace-You-Off Prize."
I do not have any cash to give away but the winner can print my prize on a T-shirt and wear it for a year. I assure you the international community will give it the utmost recognition and respect you deserve. Women will throw themselves at you.
I hope giving a prize to the Nobel guys doesn't make China mad at me too. I wouldn't want Iran and Cuba to boycott my ceremony, a humble affair which will be held at the coffee shop near my house, right after the live Barclays Premier League match.