How not to get caught on Mistress Day

How not to get caught on Mistress Day

As February 13 approaches, we find the 7 best places in Shanghai to romance your almost Valentine

In the past few years February 13 has become known as an unofficial "Mistress Day" in China.

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Married men usually promise to spend Valentine’s Day with their wives and Mistress Day gives them the chance to preempt any jealousy from their little honeys (小蜜) by romancing them the day before.

According to some private detectives, the unlucky 13th is also the day when women in China are most likely to investigate their husbands’ infidelities.

So here are some ideas for celebrating Mistress Day without getting in trouble.

Shanghai mistress day -- pudong airportPudong Airport is good for more than flights this Feb. 13.

1. Huoji Lou Jishi Hotel

Pudong Airport may not be the most romantic spot to celebrate Mistress Day, but at least there’s little chance your wife will find you at this three-star hotel on the Domestic Arrivals floor of Terminal One.

You’ll probably have to treat your mistress to flights elsewhere to get her out there, but you’ll pay just RMB 60 per hour for the room itself while you handle her baggage.

Huoji Lou Jishi Binguan, Pudong Airport, +86 21 6834 6480


Shanghai mistress day -- cupolaEnjoy your "affair to remember" in the Cupola before moving it to the elevator and just about anywhere else you can find room at Three on the Bund.




2. The Cupola, Three on the Bund

Where better to take your little number three (小三) than Three on the Bund? And where else than the Cupola to couple, la?

At RMB 9,999, the private dining room overlooking the Huangpu is the priciest Valentine’s Day date in the city. Strangely, that package is called “An Affair to Remember” when the real affair will take place the day before, perhaps under the table, perhaps in the Evian Spa.

Three on the Bund, 3 Zhongshan Dong Yi Lu, near Guangdong Lu 中山东一路3号楼7楼, 近广东路, +86 21 6321 0909, www.threeonthebund.com


Shanghai mistress day -- Oh ToysNot a place to pick up toys for the kiddies.




3. Oh Toys

If you’re too much of a jealous hypocrite to let your mistress have her own bit on the side while you’re off entertaining the missus, the least you can do is take her out toy shopping.

Oh Toys has more dongs than a Shanghai street map. There’s one for every budget with prices ranging from around RMB 20 to RMB 900.

Oh Toys, 106 Nanchang Lu, near Yandang Lu 南昌路106号, 近雁荡路, +86 21 5306 0835


Shanghai mistress day -- lailaiShanghai's LGBT scene gets in on Mistress Day action.




4. Lailai Dance Hall

Around 20 million gay men in China are married to women.

If the other woman in your relationship is a man, then why not take him to the Lailai Dance Hall where gay men ramba and two step while a live band plays 1980s pop and Chinese revolutionary songs.

The venue also holds drag nights, just in case the other woman in your relationship happens to be a man who likes to dress up as a woman. 

Lailai Dance Hall, 2/F, 235 Anguo Lu , near Zhoujiazui Lu 安国路235号2楼, 近周家嘴路, +86 150 2174 7399

Shanghai mistresses' day - We Love HotelOnly thing missing for Mistress Day is the water bed -- but the in-room spa bath will do.



5. We Love Hotel

Yes, it’s a cliche, but cliches are dirty and that makes them sexy.

Relax and unwind on a round bed while admiring a heart-shaped butt from the comfort of a heart-shaped pillow.

More on CNNGo: The best Shanghai hotels worth blowing your budget on

Get hot and heavy four times over on a four-poster bed. Whisper silent nothings that really are inaudible over the loud hum of your in-room spa bath.

The We Love Hotel has it all.

We Love Hotel, 8/F Building C, 682 Wuzhong Lu, 吴中路682号, +86 21 5422 5199


Shanghai mistress daySo many options. Sometimes it's difficult to choose.


6. Häagen Dazs

Speaking of cliches, China is changing fast so there’s probably a growing polyamorist community here.

If your wife is open-minded in the ancient Chinese tradition then all three of you can hang out on Mistress Day. Go to Häagen Dazs and make out with both of them just to freak out the couples unimaginative enough to be there.

Rm. 113, Westgate Mall, 1038 Nanjing Xi Lu, near Jiangning Lu 南京西路1038号梅龙镇广场113室, 近江宁路, +86 21 6218 2248


Shanghai mistress day - marriage hallYou've come to the right place for marriage, adoption and divorce.



7. The Shanghai Marriage Registration Center

If the women in your life aren’t willing to share, do the honest thing and take both of them down to the Marriage Registration Center.

More on CNNGo: Faking divorce to buy a house in Shanghai

The divorce desk and the marriage desk are right next door to each other, so you can divorce your wife (RMB 10) and make your mistress your new bride (RMB 9) just in time for Valentine’s Day. The whole thing will cost less than a long-stemmed rose.

The Marriage Administration Center, 3/F, Shanghai Everbright Exhibition Center, 78 Caobao Lu, near Liuzhou Lu 漕宝路78号, 近柳州路 +86 21 6432 5087

 

Sam Gaskin is an arts and culture journalist based in Shanghai.
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