So-bad-they're-good items at the Chinese New Year market

So-bad-they're-good items at the Chinese New Year market

From blow-up boobs to Angry Birds, finding craptacular products at the annual Victoria Park market is one way to ensure your year can only get better

victoria park lunar new year marketVictoria Park is flooded with flowers, food, fair-goers, and land-fill-destined toys.

Each year, 14 temporary markets are set up across Hong Kong as part of the city's Chinese New Year festivities. The biggest and baddest one is at Victoria Park, where the number of attendees each day can reach five digits.

The attraction? Well there are lots of traditional Chinese snacks and lucky flowers on sale, and it is a highly inclusive activity, so the whole family can partake together during Chinese New Year.

But really, it's all the weird and useless plastic toys that gets sold there that unfailingly attracts people year after year. Here's a peek at the worst of them.

victoria park lunar new year marketPeople leaving the market.

victoria park lunar new year marketThe genius touch is in the strategically placed nozzles.

Blow-up boobs

How do you merchandise a porn film and sell the products at a family-friendly fair? Make plastic blow-up bikinied boobies.

It's proof that the 3D soft-core porno "Zen and Sex" is still Hong Kong's most anticipated cinematic extravaganza. There is even a makeshift booth where fans can watch a five-minute trailer with 3D glasses.

However, people have been complaining about the booth so its fate is uncertain.

victoria park lunar new year marketNot sure about the Pepto Bismol-pink ones.

Rabbit ears

It's the Year of the Hare, not the Year of Thinking Outside of the Box, so naturally the prevailing theme at the market is everything to do with rabbits.

We must have spotted at least three dozen stalls selling rabbit ears. These puffy blow-up ones were our favorite. They just look so comfortable, you could almost use them as a neck cushion.

victoria park lunar new year marketJust saying "hi!"

Whole rabbits

The market is where young people on Chinese New Year vacation can exercise their entrepreneurial savvy. These plastic rabbits look innocuous enough, but they took more than a year to develop and have moveable parts.

The "designer" is a relentless salesman behind the loudspeaker.

victoria park lunar new year marketDon't even think about it, dad.

Rabbit underwear

These boxers target the niche market of fathers who fancy themselves young at heart.

Red underwear is also recommended for people who were born in the Year of the Hare.

Since this year is under your Chinese zodiac, you will actually suffer from catastrophic bad luck.

No fear though, there are many ways to remedy this, the most common one being the donning of red underwear.

victoria park lunar new year marketImagine waking up next to one of these.

Brightly colored things that catch the wind

Having a little windmill strategically placed in your home is good feng shui.

It is just kind of difficult to integrate these red, pink and rainbow ones into the overall color scheme of the apartment.

victoria park lunar new year marketIts red and yellow colors, plus the fact that everyone is playing the game at boring family gatherings, makes Angry Birds the most Chinese New Year video game ever created.

Off-line Angry Bird

Angry Bird has attained cult status as a game in Hong Kong. People are snapping up these Angry Bird blow-up dolls and soft toys like hotcakes.

There are also sets of figurines of the characters from the game, complete with rubber bands, so that the game can be played offline.

victoria park lunar new year marketKeep 'em coming, they can't get enough of my balls.

Just a ball

Here's to the most down-to-earth plastic toy at the market. These balls don't really do anything. You blow them up, put them on the end of a stick, and just kind of hold onto them.

And yet every other kid at the market was holding one.

February 2 is the last day of the Victoria Park Lunar New Year market and it will be open until the early morning of February 3. To access, use MTR Causeway Bay Station Exit E, then walk along Great George Street to the park, or MTR Tin Hau Station Exit A2, turn left at exit.

After traveling around the world on a fistful of dollars, Zoe returns to Hong Kong, where she grew up, to discover and write about all the inspiring stuff that happens here on a daily basis.

Read more about Zoe Li
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