30 hilarious travel tweets

30 hilarious travel tweets

30 tweeters on the go capture the hilarity of travel in 140 characters or less in the return of CNNGo's hilarious travel tweets
hilarious travel tweets CNNGo

It ain't easy to be funny in 140 characters or less. We managed to find 25 hilarious travel tweets before, and we've done it again with this new batch of 30 tweets.


Family reunion in Arkansas. Packing condoms because, you know, clichés. -- @dysolution



Some guy is weighing himself on luggage scales at the closed check-ins at Dulles. I don't know which problem to recommend he seek help for. -- @swimparallel


There should be a law: You're flying commercial and arrive at airport wearing Polo cologne -- mandatory shower at security checkpoint. -- @clinton_kelly


I'm not sure if I just went through security to enter the United States, or security to be incarcerated. Two cops felt my t*ts simultaneously. -- @kellyoxford


I've had entire relationships that didn't get as far as these airport security checkpoints. -- @lefauxfrog



Southwest airlines is like my period. It hurts my back and it's always late. -- @WhitneyCummings


There's a guy sitting next to me on the plane that looks like Jesus Christ. Just handed him a bottle of water and said, "Merlot, please." -- @bedheadblonde


The delta airlines flight attendant just used the word "thing-a-Ma-gig" to describe..... oxygen mask. -- @Chrismix86


Before you express relief at not being seated next to a crying baby for the long flight, let me introduce myself. -- @Brain_Wash


What does the male flight attendant want from me with these jokes? A tip? A nod of approval? Tell me! WHAT?!!! -- @TheBiggIdea


Either we're over the Rocky Mountains or I'm looking at a topographical map of my own b-acne. -- @lilgrl


US Airways is like the Chinatown bus of the sky. -- @sarahmorrison 



I scream at airport police to look on their video for the guy who just stole my purse. The video shows me putting my purse in my suitcase. -- @penelopetrunk


Just checked into the nicest hotel room I've ever stayed in, but there's a snorer! Next door? Above? At least...THAT HAD BETTER BE SNORING. -- @dooce


I think the thread count on this hotel towel is "gravel". -- @luckyshirt


Our hotel is hosting a mime convention and I can't sleep. Knowing mimes are having sex nearby gives me the creeps. -- @RexHuppke


I just gave Hotel Rwanda one star on hotels.com -- @jordanrubin


In Amsterdam, everyone rides a bicycle and no one cares how excited you are to buy marijuana. -- @Just_Alison


WOW! The motto on Israel's currency is 'In God We Trust, But of Jesus We Are A Little Suspicious' -- @rationalists


Seeing a lot of guys in floral prints. I'm either in Hawaii or at a Jimmy Buffet concert. -- @jimmygaffigan


I see car horns are still a popular means of casual communication in Timisoara. eg "Beebep-beep-beeeep" -translation: "your shoe is untied" -- @leifpettersen


A little known fact about Rosetta Stone is that they sell a social skills lesson called "Beer". -- @overlandparker


Best part of vacation so far - spending hours online in a totally different place. -- @michaelianblack



You ever notice how passport photos always look like American Apparel ads? -- @apocalypstick

Day 3 at the beach: I achieve redhead levels of awkward sunburn lines. -- @CcSteff


A road trip is a great way to test a new relationship but it's the withholding of the flatulence which eventually creates the tension. -- @CheyVolay


CB trucker chatter: the anonymous Internet commenters of the highways. -- @sundry


I'm between hard rock and a place. -- @thebenbrooks


Mile 100 of a 600 mile trip with 4 kids and my Air Conditioner just stopped working. Look for me on Cops. -- @ruthakers

I'm sweaty, haven't bathed in days, and barely mouthing words to songs I really should know. Camping is like an Amy Winehouse reality show. -- @Brian_Wash


Seen a hilarious travel tweet? Tell us below in the comments section. Thanks @michellewoo for finding the tweets. Oh yeah, check out @cnngo.


Michelle Woo is a journalist and blogger, whose work has appeared in USA Today, The Arizona Republic, Detroit Free Press, Orange County Register and on CNN.com.
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